A tribute to my late furry care partner and the healing power of pets
Pets teach us how to receive love and give it back
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Our sweet cat, Sammie Cooper, died suddenly a few weeks ago. So this is a sad column, but it’s also an ode to a particular kind of care partner: the kind with fur.
She came to us 13 years ago from a shelter in Tucson, Arizona. We figured she was about 2 years old and clearly had lived a hard life. She was sick and wasn’t expected to last long. We nursed her back to health and gave her the love she so badly needed. Two months later, her “brother” joined us from the same shelter, a newborn we named Muggles Francis. He adored Sammie with every cell in his body.
Back then, I wasn’t sick. I was a CEO building a Parkinson’s disease organization and traveling constantly. My wife, Pam, worked full time as a hospice social worker. We loved those cats around two busy lives.
In March 2020, I got very sick. It was the start of a long road to my diagnosis of eosinophilic granulomatosis with polyangiitis, which was confirmed in February 2021. For four years, I lived with severe disease I couldn’t contain, trying every treatment but one and surviving two reactions that nearly killed me. In January 2025, I started Fasenra (benralizumab) and finally began to stabilize.
Through all of it, Sammie slept on my chest, shoulders, and head. The weight of her small, soft body settled me the way a weighted blanket settles some people. She’d sit up and watch me through bad coughing spells, then glue herself back to my side. She carried an energy of protection. She was gentle with everyone — except her brother, whom she loved to pick on. Second only to my wife (who is the kindest, most compassionate human I know and is a rockstar when it comes to living my disease by proxy), Sammie was my care partner through the hardest years of my disease.
Life lessons from a furry friend
Those years cost us most of our friendships. I was too sick and we were both too tired to address it, as most days were spent just trying to stay alive. When my wife and I decided to move back to Michigan after being in Tucson for 25 years, getting two aging cats across the country was its own ordeal. I held Sammie for all 2,000 miles. It was the only way she’d settle.
From left, Pam Squires and Sarah Jones hold their beloved cat Sammie Cooper, who was a devoted care partner for Sarah. (Courtesy of Sarah Jones)
The day Sammie died, our friends Tracy and Maria came over for a WNBA game. After 25 years apart from each other, it’s a gift to know them again. We laughed and ate and cheered. Sammie was herself all day — eating, napping on my chest, making her rounds to check that all was well. Then she went downstairs to snuggle her brother, as she often did. A while later, we found her gone.
I share this partly because remembering her is healing. And partly because of what this disease, which I would never choose and will never be grateful for, somehow gave me: time. Time to stop traveling, to slow down, to be with my family — my wife, Sammie Cooper, and Muggles Francis. It gave me a chance to learn how to receive love and give it back, something that passes us by when we’re well and life is loud and hectic.
Sammie taught me how to live while being sick — lessons I’m still learning, now without her perpetual reminders:
- I have value even on my bad days.
- Being present, for the world and the people around me, is what matters.
- Quiet is good.
- Gentleness with myself when I’m unwell is not optional. Silencing the critical voice is the only way to heal.
- Letting people — and pets — near us to protect us is a gift, for them and for us.
- Don’t do what you don’t want to do, can’t do, or aren’t up for. And don’t feel bad about it.
I think sometimes our furry babies are the only ones who can teach us these things. Or maybe they are the only ones we’ll actually listen to.
My life will always have a hole Sammie filled that no one, not even a new pet, ever could. I miss her desperately. If you have a pet who is also your care partner, give them an extra kiss tonight. There is even research on the role they play for those of us with chronic conditions. Take in their lessons, as they have a lot to teach us.
Note: ANCA Vasculitis News is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of ANCA Vasculitis News or its parent company, Bionews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to ANCA vasculitis.
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